WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?! I ain't dying bro

So everytime I start writing in these journals. I always mention, "OMG IT BEEN SO LONG?!" "Eh i'm still alive sadly..." and my favorite, "Where those anime hoes at?". Okay the last part not as much. 

I'll make this quick about my life. 

I do have a job. I work in a middle school, cafeteria worker, cashier for the concession stand. I don't mind kids, I like some of them. But my fucking god can some of them be punks, delinquents, but overall pleasant. Started a few weeks ago and I'm not planning on leaving right away. 

So if you guys are actually paying attention. I been drawing for a few months now. I thought for a while back I would suddenly just stopped. I sort of had for a minute there. I made sure to download the Deviant Art app. It's okay. I don't like taking pictures of my drawing on my phone. Even thou it might be a longer process, I do enjoy scanning them and putting them on my phone so i can upload them faster. Plus they will look better in quality. 

I also realized I didn't really put any of my Acen pictures up. I didn't go to Anime Midwest due to money issues. Well looking back, I did upload some of them. But I don't know. There wasn't a lot of me taking. Plus I was using my phone which isn't a great quality camera. I sadly lost my camera nearly a year ago so I'm still sad about that. FUCK YOU CHICAGO! 

So for my drawings. I keep looking back to some of my older, disgusting drawings I did years ago. I BEEN ON DEVIANT ART FOR FUCKING 11 YEARS?! What the hell have I done? I barely improved in the past few years. I blame myself for not being devoted to the arts. It's always surprising how much I actually like going to the arts. Hell every year for my birthday I try to go to the Art Museum in Chicago. So I can remind myself, I belong there. I feel refresh and emotionally connected to every piece of art there. Plus it's just a beautiful scenery as well. The lake is only like a click away. 

So in a matter of days, I'm gonna be 30. That's a surreal thought. Process to think over. I'm going to be thirty. WHAT THE HELL?! 

So my thought process is all over the place. But this journal does have a purpose. It's my ideas for drawing. WHAT AM I GOING TO DRAW NEXT?! I mention i looked back some of my older drawings. Maybe I should start, redoing my ideas. I did a lot of DOA drawings back in the day. What if I try to redraw the ideas i did, but modern. Meaning I understand body proportions betta, I understand how my drawings work, and how I can use them. I still want to make new content. It's just me figuring out how I'm picturing it. That way when I actually want to draw, I will know how to frame that picture to paper. Many of my next content could continue my Video Game Ending Scenes. Some of them I been adding are not actually ending scenes. I may do more of that. At the same time I still want to continue my ending scenes. A lot of video games I enlisted are for now, mostly Nintendo games. There are still plenty of single character I still want to draw. One of them which I'm actually scared of doing is Bayonetta. I don't know how to do her, and i'm scared shitless of drawing someone so beautiful. One day I'll find that pose and the perfect reference images of her. 

I think I...spoke enough. Time for me to draw some DOA Bitches again.